I'm not sure how to say what I'm going to say, but I wanted to document what I'm feeling... Here goes
I had a follow up with my specialist yesterday. They were going to do heart tests and follow up on the triplet dissolving. The tech found the baby B (boy) and went to work on the tests. After some great shots of him she went to do baby A. I also mentioned about the triplet so she stopped and looked at my chart and then went to ask the Dr. a question. The Dr. came into the room and started up with the ultrasound. I didn't say anything nor did she.
After a minute of looking around with the babies she had to tell me that Baby A is no longer living. I guess she passed away about a week ago and her body is compressing and dissolving. That was definitely not the news I was expecting to hear. I had a few suspicions that things weren't normal, but nothing that I would think she had died.
Jeff and I are both very sad. It was not a fun thing to lose our little baby girl. It is a loss with a bit of happiness tied to it since baby boy is doing really well. They are concerned about why I lost the baby. They are doing blood work to look for clotting disorders or such that would suddenly cause me to lose a baby. I am now concerned for my little boy. I would hate to lose both twins. After having to lose one, explain that to our kids, and then to lose the other... ugh! I hope if something is going on we can get on top of it and help this pregnancy along without further complications.
Losing something you were really expecting and planning for (especially something so exciting as a baby) is really hard. This is my first experience (hopefully my last) with miscarriage and I am in awe of my other children and the easy pregnancies those were. I'm sure this will turn out right in the end and that we are being watched over and cared for. I love my children. I love being a mom. I am happy to welcome little spirits to our family. I am sad to not get to add 2, but still so happy to be keeping our little boy! I am so grateful for every little kick that our little boy gives me... I never thought those kicks could bring such joy :).
Thanks to all for their love and support! I am grateful for wonderful family and friends during these trying times.
A new place to look, and APOLOGIES
5 years ago